Alvaro Romero... The agony of living

A journey trough life


Self care! A case for Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

When Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@ocasio2018) twitted her need for self care time the conservatives went nuts and started treating her like she was a spoiled winning little girl not knowing that self care is a basic human need. It is not just a woman thing, any human needs time for self care.
   Ocasio-Cortez is not the inventor or creator of the concept of self care. As Elaine Olen from the Washington post already explained here, self care has deep roots in the american culture, though in some other culture there is an old tradition of saunas and massages, such as the eastern European countries. The Russian Banya for example or the turkish Hamam where man went to relax and get massaged. In america (meaning the continent from Alaska to Chile) exist the 'Temascal' which is more or less an sauna for medicinal purposes.
   Many time a trend may elude me just because the fact that I spend so little time on Facebook or Snapchat but I got a back and forth with my friend Julie Heinz when she posted a story on Facebook mentioning her need for a self care time, so, when I heard Ocasi-Cortez talking about it, I knew right away what she was talking about. After the conversation with Julie, a realized that the self care trend is mostly a liberal issue. conservatives do the same thing, but they call it many other ways. The concept of "self Care"is basically a liberal issue, and that is why conservative pundits reacted so quick to @Ocasio2018 comment.
   Now, as I mentioned before, She is not the creator of the concept, but in this instance she has had a hold of the pennant and ran with it and that make her a leader in thet subject for the time been. She mentioned how bad she need a face mask with a couple cucumbers and a towel wrapped around her head. Probably that includes some exfoliation, manicure and eyebrows as well as a deep massage. Her diet is a plus! Back to the veggies and avoid dead animals as much as possible and the Yoga!
   No, I am not been sarcastic about all of this. I truly believe that this is a basic human need and it should be included in the "Health Care for all"plan so people can have this things the same way that the can take an aspirin when they have a headache. So the yoga!
   Yoga, in the ancient times was a way to meditate and every different position had a purpose in the practice of meditation. The yoga that we practice now days has evolved more into some kind of sport or a workout routine putting aside any mental or spiritual aspect of it. and that is way I am recommending miss Alexandria (or congresswoman elected Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @Ocasio2018) to include some kind of meditation in her schedule. Not just for this self care time but in her everyday schedule... she really deeds it!
   She hasn't fight any round yet of this the 24 first rounds of her political career and she has thrown so many punches already! Meditating before the fight would give her the insight to have mental control when the fight starts and that way follow the advice of her corner.

And here I insert this (which for a an agnostic person could sound hypocritical)

Hebrews 12:11

Because no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

A lesson on boxing now! 
 Everyone needs to know a little bit about boxing if you are planing in making a living of politics, and in your case you need to know whether what happened to you was a "sparring gone wrong" or true skills (click here for an example) . You KO a champion but you don't know if that was a lucky punch or your real skills.
 Every boxer needs to master a technique based in their natural skills. For example, she needs to decide whether she is going to be a Swarmer, Out-Boxer or Slugger.  . All of them can win you the championship but very rarely a boxer can be both. Once your trainer evaluate your skills then you can decide if you are going to a be: Julio Cesar Chavez, Floyd Mayweather or Mike Tyson.

   When you responded to Alex Shapiro : "Just like catcalling, I don’t owe a response to unsolicited requests from men with bad intentions.And also like catcalling, for some reason they feel entitled to one." That answer was very intelligent and measured... all you needed a that point was to keep your mouth shut. But no, the response you got back from your crowd gave you a sugar rush and then you started answering a every cat caller out in the street. Which make me thing of something "DO NOT FOLLOW THE MAGA GUY STEPS" a) you don't have to take off running every time somebody says 'squirrel!'. b) tell your truth with out offending the other party and c) don't make enemies from inside your allies: I mean, you came after the election trowing punches right and left and demanded your own territory! it is ok... it's just too early. For somebody that has never fought a real fight you still need to come over and kiss couple rings, the protection of those old dogs would give you time and exposure to gain real experience and the fight for your territory. Look at THE MAGA guy! made plenty of enemies very fast, a fool of himself and gain nothing in the process.

You think that Nancy Pelosi is too old to be a leader?... Take on meditation, meditate, get to know yourself and then comeback.


Do I get paid to talk!? no! all right?!
I don't get paid to talk,
I get paid to drive...
                            And so I drive.
   But if you wanna talk, you start.
My conversation is not included in your fare,
then, if you don't like it!
                            don't complaint!

Moving Up!

It's been said that
                love has ups and downs.
        I saw you with someone
                 going up.
                 ... I get it now.   

Border wall... Please let him build it!

A whole election was won on the promise that the new president would build a wall alongside th Mexican border, and so far there is no signs os such a wall being built.
The Trump administration has said that the wall is being built in a form of improvements and fix, but we all know that that is not what he promised... It is more like a kid saying "it didn't hurt" after he felt.
Many people has gone over all the things that makes it impossible to complete this project, but we will still mention some of them to put things in context. for instance, we have to bring back the 2017 border patrol budget... 13.7 billion... cost of the wall? around 20 billion. That is without mentioning that the wall has to be protected from been destroyed, has to be maintained and repair
   If the cost of building thee wall upsets that of the border patrol budget, the we could just build the wall and fire the roughly 30 thousand people that agency employs. Then, all that people can take the jobs that all the illegals come here ton steal from them. Maintaining the wall and implementing technology to prevent people from crossing will cost a fraction of the actual budget.
 The government could implement a program to re train all that personal so they can fulfill all the vacancies in the farming industry, the service sector and some other like construction. maybe they coul even displace the other 11 million illegals here in the country. I am positive that when they find impossible to fin a job at a factory or landscaping they eventually will go back to their country of origin, giving back all the jobs they have been stealing from the American labor force.

The other solution is to leave things the way they are and build the wall, then increase the budget of the border patrol agency so they can protect the wall and rebuild it... maybe in the future even build a second wall to protect the first one... as long as the American people wants to spend their money why should the rest of the world care... that's the american people's wish,...  let them build their wall!

To all those Republican that claim to be so religious I have this to say"

‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? To keep kicking against the goads* makes it hard for you.’
                                                                                                                  Acts of Apostles


Your last kiss tasted earthy... 

                          like morning dew...

It was October already. 

   Raggedy clouds hung from the sky, 

   cranes flying south sang a song for us...

                      Asking us to stay together.

You asked me to hold your hand 

             Instead I gave you was a rainy day.

Tomorrow... Tomorrow you are going be back to dust... 

                        the day after we will be rain.

Spotting a teaser

It is almost a tragedy when somebody fall in love for a person that is only playing. The most difficult part is to spot that person and realize that she or he its only playing or teasing other might call it.


There are many people that crave attention. For that king of person, attention is like a trophie that they can collect.They have hundreds of follower on twitter and some more on facebook. They post updates all the time mostly os things that have no importance whatsoever such as I"I have the cold" or "I want pancakes". Whenever they can they establish contact with the followers and the conversation goes into the personal making the other person believe that there is the remote chance that they will meet and something might spark. But no, nothing will spark because when things hget hot they just simply disappear and focus their attention to other person.


This kind of situation goes on and on every day in chat rooms and social media.specially the social media that is anonymous like Instragram or Twitter. Some social media venues like Google+ and Facebook are more personal and this kind of people tends to avoid them because the people there is more likely to know them.. If you happen to be involved in this kind of relationship you are going to get hurt a little, but at the end of the day you'll realize that it was only a game and you lost... nothing major.


The real problem is when you are flirting with somebody that you know, somebody who is real person and not just a name in a chat room or a handle on twitter. The person you know has a body language and a voice. It knows how to provoke you and wants you close... just not to close.

Can you say I love you with a song?

It is rather common for people in love to send each other songs they favorite and deem romantic o have a message they want to say themselves but find it easier to let the song say it for them.

   The risk in using this method to conquer somebody's heart is that many times songs have two sides and we don't know which part of the song the other person is going to listen or pay attention to. 

   Let's take for example the song 'We Should Be' by Trey songs that recently a girl I was talking to sent me:

When I listen to the songs first paragraph:


                                                 Baby, you're lookin' so lovely,

                                                 I'm thinkin' bout you lovin' me.

                                                 Kissin me, touchin' me.

                                                 Lookin' so lovely, 

                                                 I'm thinkin bout you lovin' me.

                                                 Kissin me, touchin' me.


My immediate assumption was that she wanted to get close so we could have some fun sex... but judgin by her attitude next day I realized she was focusing in the second paragraph:


                                                 I promised you

                                                 I'd take you out.

                                                 Enjoy your night,

                                                 out on the town.

                                                 Light dinner and

                                                 some champagne.

                                                 You deserve the best

                                                 of the finer thangs.

                                                 Girl tonight you couldn't look

                                                 any better.

                                                 Amazingly irresistable.

                                                 I can see it in my mind,

                                                 baby you and I,

                                                 later on tonight

                                                 makin love.

Here, I realized she was thinking more in the romantic aproach to a relationship, which implies a nice romatic dinner. But as you can see, the same song sent two different messages and who is to tell which one is the one the person who receives the song is thinking about.


Another example I came across Was when I was flirting with a girl. As we talked she sent me a text with this "If I told you that a flower bloomed in a dark room, would you trust it?" (from Poetic Justice of Kendrick Lamar) and right after a link to YouTube to Johnny Rain's LLWH.

 So, I'm listetening to the song and I hear this part:


                                                You have my love

                                                You have my heart

                                                You've got everything that tore us apart

                                                This is why I neveAnnotater learn to trust correctly

                                                We both know you could never just forget me

                                                I'd love you if you ever really let me

                                                Would you let me?


So I think 'well, we are into each other, things are looking great' But as I continue listening this part hits me:


                                                You're standing there

                                                With an empty look of envy

                                                You ain't come prepared

                                                You don't have to see what's in me

                                                Girl, I'm one to care

                                                And I'm ridin' where the simps be

                                                I swear they tryna get me


                                                Fuck you think this is?

                                                Look what you did to me

                                                You fucking piece of shit

                                                I'm everything that you pretend to be

                                                I thought that we were meant to be

                                                Now just

                                                             ... Fuck you


So here I got confused again... Does she love me or she thinks I am a piece of shit?


As you can see in those two examples, a song can send different message than the one you were thinking about. You might get lucky and the other person would get the one you intended, but chances are is not going to work like that. For some reason when is about love relationships we get to sensitive, either about falling to hard or been too skeptical. As in any case, when we send a song or when we receive it we only hear what we want to hear and we don't think of how the other person is going to perceive it.


I am not saying that you should stop using songs to express your feelings, but if you are going to do it, better analyze the whole song and think how the other person is going to read it before you send it... that way you know that the right message was delivered.

It is love... I know.

And she said, 'why do you say you love me

if you don't even know me?

And I said... I don't know!

It just happened! I can't explain...

Maybe is your eyes,

Maybe is your ass...

                      but I just don't know.


I know, is not your conversation,

nor your fashion style...

But when you talk and when you walk.

when you look at me from afar,

when I look at you from behind

                              I know.... is love.


How did it happen, you ask.

I just don't know, I say.

You keep asking the same question

over and over.

And I keep avoiding the answer,

but I am giving it to you now...

This is the answer... I just don't know.


You say: How do you say you love me?

If you don't even know me?

And I say... I don't know.

                     I can't explain it,

                            It just happened.

                               Maybe is your eyes...

                                  or maybe is your ass.


But I know is not your conversation.

I know is not your fashion style.

I know. When you talk and when you walk.

When you look at me from afar,

when I look at you from behind...

                                  I know is love!


If we are going to rationalize love.

If we are going to measure it by words.

Then... what's the point?

It's not going to lead us anywhere.

And I'm not going to feel love no more.


For me, all what counts it's what I feel.

I don't want it in words.

I don't want to say: It's because your are smart...

                                                     Why lie?

I don't want to say, 'It's because you're funny!

                                      maybe you are not!

I don't want to say, Its because we are a match...

                                                we don't match.


What I want to say, is what I said.

All I want to say is that it may be your eyes...

but most likely is your ass!

All I want to say is what I feel,

all I want to say is what I see.

And I know what I see...

When I see you walking away from me!


I't not your conversation what I like.

It's not that you are successful...

...So, no. Is not your conversation.

                                  It might be your eyes...

But for sure is your ass...

Yesterday it was waving at me goodbye

If this is goodbye...

So this is goodbye!

Crossing the Line... When it doesn't matter anymore

When somebody crosses the line, anything that happens right after it doesn't matter. The opinion of others it doesn't matter, and trying to hide it is pointless... at that point everyone has to assume responsibility for what's been done and act accordingly.


So let's talk about love. One of the most common situations of crossing the line is when you, been in a relationship (married or just dating) falls in love for another person and actually admit to the other person that you love him (her). Maybe you didn't kiss or have sex, maybe it was just flirting... the fact here is that you crossed the line when you admitted to yourself that you where in love with somebody else. At that point you can repeat for yourself as many times as you want that nothing happen and that you didn't cheat... fact is, something happen and in your heart you did cheat.

the good news here is that if your partner didn't find out, life can continue as always and you can pretend, even to yourself, that things are the same. So you crossed the line and whether you saty in your relationship of your new love, it doesn't matter anymore!


Another situation is about respect. All couples eventually have an argument about something. Money, work, jealousy etc. Some people rise their voice very easily, some other ones are more thoughtful but everyone says things that regret later. The real problem comes in the first time that you say the F word to your partner. Arguing and sating harsh words is common, but the first time you say 'Fuck you" breaks the line of respect the very rarely is gain back again. After that thing can just escalate and get worst, the frequency will increase and unhappiness will settle in in the relationship.


In the same line with the last topic is sex. (This apply mostly to men). Experimenting sexually is inherit to any love relationship, but as humans we come from many different backgrounds and not everything is for everybody. There are conservative values and liberal values and many time they meet in a love relationship without any advise. Then it comes loving and pushing the bar. Man or woman sometimes don't expect things that seem normal to their partners and when is time to perform they might tingh of the other the worst. If a liberal woman in a relationship with a conservative guy try her best he is going to think of her as a whore, he is going to start questioning her background, how many sexual partners she has had and become jealous.

A liberal guy will try to experiment and lead things to something more kinky every time and eventually fuck her in the ass... nothing wrong there, she is  going to freak out and refuse, or accept. she is going to question what he has done in the past with other woman but at the end of the day she'll ponder her love and his love and decide if she'll take it... no worries there, but the line has been crossed.


It is well known that man are more sexually driven than woman... Don get confused, woman are just as horny as man, but woman relate sex more with love than guys. Man can have sex anytime with any woman just like that. woman can have sex just the same but when in a relationship the mood has to be right.

Many times guys are drunk or high and they get horny. when the hit the bed all they want is to fuck... the mood is not right that time and they force their way and have sex with a partner that is very annoyed, maybe even upset... that it still ok... But when things are awry and he forces his way to sex pushing his weight (namely money, looks or brute force) then the line is crossed... she may stay for long time in that relationship, but her mind would be some where... probably thinking about how to find her way out, because she or he have crossed the line.


Then it comes violence. This is the worst of the breaking points. There is not much to say... maybe.  There are many people that like it rough, but they are the exception. In most cases when one partner forces it way on sex the other is going to get hurt and the memory won't fade away... when that happens the relationship would be dead no matter what, they have crossed the line.


And this is the one I really want to talk about

The age difference. In a normal society it is normal to accept a difference in age. You can be call a sugar daddy or a cougar... same thing. 

Normally people are willing to accept a fifty percent difference in age. and whenever you go above or below that difference then you know that you have crossed the line. From there it doesn't matter the difference... as they say, 'Same difference'. If you are twenty and you are dating someone that is forth two, you may as well date someone that is fifty. or if you are fifty and you are dating someone that is thirthy, you may as well date someone that is  eighteen. My point is that once you cross the fifty percent difference, nothing makes a difference. Here the only thing that you have to face is the fact that seldom you''l be call a daughter or son of your partner. As long as you are unconscious of this it wont matter, you'll be happy for as long as you love your older partner. I have met many people;e that are attracted to older people... that is their thing and that is what makes the happy.So, in this case, they have crossed the line... but in crossing it they have found happiness! So crossing the line doe not matter anymore.


The conundrum of falling for someone who is married

It is difficult to fall for someone that is in a relationship, either married or just living together. Is not uncommon. many times when you meet a person in those circumstances and the attraction sparks, the relationship of the other person is already broken. She (or he) can denied many time that fact and tell themselves that is not truth, and many times when she thinks about it her instinct makes her turn back at her partner and tell him how much she loves him and start making huge displays of love like posting in Facebook...just to realize short after that she is actually in love with someone else. this in nothing else than a mechanism to defend herself against feelings of anxiety and unacceptable impulses to maintain her own self afloat. many times she will stay in her relationship and live with regrets for long long time, and many other times she will brake up and start over and be happy for as long as it last.


But the point here is not the outcome of this love affair... but how to manage it... or how to survive it, From her part this is how it goes: she sees this guy and feels a very strong attraction right away, try to start a conversation and like always, in that conversation hints at him of her interest. That night goes home and analyze them both and realize that her new finding is way better. the first two weeks thing get just better ans better the flame grows and pretty much they fall in love with each other. Is after that  when all the difficulties start. she starts facing her own demons, she starts questioning whether she still loves her partner, she wonders if the other person really has genuine feelings for her or is just playing. She has no way to know but trust his word and understandably that is a very hard position to be in.


From his stand point of view: He is in love with her but doesn't know ho to make her understand that, from the time of the first conversation he knew she opened a door to her heart but now is getting mix signals... she never have time for him. He wants to go out and do things, but she can't get out of her house and he sees her doing all the things he wants to do with her... with him, They make plans but she never shows up, they talk over texting but other than that the conversation keeps fading away and his anxiety is growing. Is she with me or not? is a constant question and the thought of her sleeping with him  every day makes his heart bleed enraged.

The solution!

The solution to this conundrum seems to rest on the shoulders of the person that is in a relationship. She needs to make up her mind and then send clear signals. They need to have clear conversations about where are they going and what are their expectation in a clear way and talk the truth without hesitation,,, if she feels that her love for this person is getting corresponded then she has to plan an exit of her current relationship... otherwise better stop and go back to her husband or boyfriend before she damages her heart so bad that it would  affect her capacity to love again in the future,


Maybe she needs to now that she is the first person to be in a situation like this one. THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A PERSON THAT THEY DON'T LOVE and very few of them eventually find the right person like she has... most of them stay in that relationship and live miserable lives for years and when finally gets out of that relationship the person she felt in love with is gone. Some other ones find a great person to love but they don't have the courage to get out of their current one and they too live a miserable life or years,,, a few ones find true love and brake up their current relationship to  live a new adventure and be happy for long time...

If you are in one of this situations... ITS UP TO YOU TO STEER YOUR FUTURE, If you found the right person don't waste your chances and take your chances for happiness!... before is to late and he's gone!... maybe you need to understand that life is like a game of basketball... if you drop the ball, another player is right there to pick it up and score!