Alvaro Romero... The agony of living

A journey trough life

NAVIGATION - SEARCH

Spotting a teaser

It is almost a tragedy when somebody fall in love for a person that is only playing. The most difficult part is to spot that person and realize that she or he its only playing or teasing other might call it.

 

There are many people that crave attention. For that king of person, attention is like a trophie that they can collect.They have hundreds of follower on twitter and some more on facebook. They post updates all the time mostly os things that have no importance whatsoever such as I"I have the cold" or "I want pancakes". Whenever they can they establish contact with the followers and the conversation goes into the personal making the other person believe that there is the remote chance that they will meet and something might spark. But no, nothing will spark because when things hget hot they just simply disappear and focus their attention to other person.

 

This kind of situation goes on and on every day in chat rooms and social media.specially the social media that is anonymous like Instragram or Twitter. Some social media venues like Google+ and Facebook are more personal and this kind of people tends to avoid them because the people there is more likely to know them.. If you happen to be involved in this kind of relationship you are going to get hurt a little, but at the end of the day you'll realize that it was only a game and you lost... nothing major.

 

The real problem is when you are flirting with somebody that you know, somebody who is real person and not just a name in a chat room or a handle on twitter. The person you know has a body language and a voice. It knows how to provoke you and wants you close... just not to close.

Can you say I love you with a song?

It is rather common for people in love to send each other songs they favorite and deem romantic o have a message they want to say themselves but find it easier to let the song say it for them.

   The risk in using this method to conquer somebody's heart is that many times songs have two sides and we don't know which part of the song the other person is going to listen or pay attention to. 

   Let's take for example the song 'We Should Be' by Trey songs that recently a girl I was talking to sent me:

When I listen to the songs first paragraph:

 

                                                 Baby, you're lookin' so lovely,

                                                 I'm thinkin' bout you lovin' me.

                                                 Kissin me, touchin' me.

                                                 Lookin' so lovely, 

                                                 I'm thinkin bout you lovin' me.

                                                 Kissin me, touchin' me.

 

My immediate assumption was that she wanted to get close so we could have some fun sex... but judgin by her attitude next day I realized she was focusing in the second paragraph:

 

                                                 I promised you

                                                 I'd take you out.

                                                 Enjoy your night,

                                                 out on the town.

                                                 Light dinner and

                                                 some champagne.

                                                 You deserve the best

                                                 of the finer thangs.

                                                 Girl tonight you couldn't look

                                                 any better.

                                                 Amazingly irresistable.

                                                 I can see it in my mind,

                                                 baby you and I,

                                                 later on tonight

                                                 makin love.

Here, I realized she was thinking more in the romantic aproach to a relationship, which implies a nice romatic dinner. But as you can see, the same song sent two different messages and who is to tell which one is the one the person who receives the song is thinking about.

 

Another example I came across Was when I was flirting with a girl. As we talked she sent me a text with this "If I told you that a flower bloomed in a dark room, would you trust it?" (from Poetic Justice of Kendrick Lamar) and right after a link to YouTube to Johnny Rain's LLWH.

 So, I'm listetening to the song and I hear this part:

 

                                                You have my love

                                                You have my heart

                                                You've got everything that tore us apart

                                                This is why I neveAnnotater learn to trust correctly

                                                We both know you could never just forget me

                                                I'd love you if you ever really let me

                                                Would you let me?

 

So I think 'well, we are into each other, things are looking great' But as I continue listening this part hits me:

 

                                                You're standing there

                                                With an empty look of envy

                                                You ain't come prepared

                                                You don't have to see what's in me

                                                Girl, I'm one to care

                                                And I'm ridin' where the simps be

                                                I swear they tryna get me

                                                Woah

                                                Fuck you think this is?

                                                Look what you did to me

                                                You fucking piece of shit

                                                I'm everything that you pretend to be

                                                I thought that we were meant to be

                                                Now just

                                                             ... Fuck you

 

So here I got confused again... Does she love me or she thinks I am a piece of shit?

 

As you can see in those two examples, a song can send different message than the one you were thinking about. You might get lucky and the other person would get the one you intended, but chances are is not going to work like that. For some reason when is about love relationships we get to sensitive, either about falling to hard or been too skeptical. As in any case, when we send a song or when we receive it we only hear what we want to hear and we don't think of how the other person is going to perceive it.

 

I am not saying that you should stop using songs to express your feelings, but if you are going to do it, better analyze the whole song and think how the other person is going to read it before you send it... that way you know that the right message was delivered.

Crossing the Line... When it doesn't matter anymore

When somebody crosses the line, anything that happens right after it doesn't matter. The opinion of others it doesn't matter, and trying to hide it is pointless... at that point everyone has to assume responsibility for what's been done and act accordingly.

 

So let's talk about love. One of the most common situations of crossing the line is when you, been in a relationship (married or just dating) falls in love for another person and actually admit to the other person that you love him (her). Maybe you didn't kiss or have sex, maybe it was just flirting... the fact here is that you crossed the line when you admitted to yourself that you where in love with somebody else. At that point you can repeat for yourself as many times as you want that nothing happen and that you didn't cheat... fact is, something happen and in your heart you did cheat.

the good news here is that if your partner didn't find out, life can continue as always and you can pretend, even to yourself, that things are the same. So you crossed the line and whether you saty in your relationship of your new love, it doesn't matter anymore!

 

Another situation is about respect. All couples eventually have an argument about something. Money, work, jealousy etc. Some people rise their voice very easily, some other ones are more thoughtful but everyone says things that regret later. The real problem comes in the first time that you say the F word to your partner. Arguing and sating harsh words is common, but the first time you say 'Fuck you" breaks the line of respect the very rarely is gain back again. After that thing can just escalate and get worst, the frequency will increase and unhappiness will settle in in the relationship.

 

In the same line with the last topic is sex. (This apply mostly to men). Experimenting sexually is inherit to any love relationship, but as humans we come from many different backgrounds and not everything is for everybody. There are conservative values and liberal values and many time they meet in a love relationship without any advise. Then it comes loving and pushing the bar. Man or woman sometimes don't expect things that seem normal to their partners and when is time to perform they might tingh of the other the worst. If a liberal woman in a relationship with a conservative guy try her best he is going to think of her as a whore, he is going to start questioning her background, how many sexual partners she has had and become jealous.

A liberal guy will try to experiment and lead things to something more kinky every time and eventually fuck her in the ass... nothing wrong there, she is  going to freak out and refuse, or accept. she is going to question what he has done in the past with other woman but at the end of the day she'll ponder her love and his love and decide if she'll take it... no worries there, but the line has been crossed.

 

It is well known that man are more sexually driven than woman... Don get confused, woman are just as horny as man, but woman relate sex more with love than guys. Man can have sex anytime with any woman just like that. woman can have sex just the same but when in a relationship the mood has to be right.

Many times guys are drunk or high and they get horny. when the hit the bed all they want is to fuck... the mood is not right that time and they force their way and have sex with a partner that is very annoyed, maybe even upset... that it still ok... But when things are awry and he forces his way to sex pushing his weight (namely money, looks or brute force) then the line is crossed... she may stay for long time in that relationship, but her mind would be some where... probably thinking about how to find her way out, because she or he have crossed the line.

 

Then it comes violence. This is the worst of the breaking points. There is not much to say... maybe.  There are many people that like it rough, but they are the exception. In most cases when one partner forces it way on sex the other is going to get hurt and the memory won't fade away... when that happens the relationship would be dead no matter what, they have crossed the line.

 

And this is the one I really want to talk about

The age difference. In a normal society it is normal to accept a difference in age. You can be call a sugar daddy or a cougar... same thing. 

Normally people are willing to accept a fifty percent difference in age. and whenever you go above or below that difference then you know that you have crossed the line. From there it doesn't matter the difference... as they say, 'Same difference'. If you are twenty and you are dating someone that is forth two, you may as well date someone that is fifty. or if you are fifty and you are dating someone that is thirthy, you may as well date someone that is  eighteen. My point is that once you cross the fifty percent difference, nothing makes a difference. Here the only thing that you have to face is the fact that seldom you''l be call a daughter or son of your partner. As long as you are unconscious of this it wont matter, you'll be happy for as long as you love your older partner. I have met many people;e that are attracted to older people... that is their thing and that is what makes the happy.So, in this case, they have crossed the line... but in crossing it they have found happiness! So crossing the line doe not matter anymore.

 

The conundrum of falling for someone who is married

It is difficult to fall for someone that is in a relationship, either married or just living together. Is not uncommon. many times when you meet a person in those circumstances and the attraction sparks, the relationship of the other person is already broken. She (or he) can denied many time that fact and tell themselves that is not truth, and many times when she thinks about it her instinct makes her turn back at her partner and tell him how much she loves him and start making huge displays of love like posting in Facebook...just to realize short after that she is actually in love with someone else. this in nothing else than a mechanism to defend herself against feelings of anxiety and unacceptable impulses to maintain her own self afloat. many times she will stay in her relationship and live with regrets for long long time, and many other times she will brake up and start over and be happy for as long as it last.

 

But the point here is not the outcome of this love affair... but how to manage it... or how to survive it, From her part this is how it goes: she sees this guy and feels a very strong attraction right away, try to start a conversation and like always, in that conversation hints at him of her interest. That night goes home and analyze them both and realize that her new finding is way better. the first two weeks thing get just better ans better the flame grows and pretty much they fall in love with each other. Is after that  when all the difficulties start. she starts facing her own demons, she starts questioning whether she still loves her partner, she wonders if the other person really has genuine feelings for her or is just playing. She has no way to know but trust his word and understandably that is a very hard position to be in.

 

From his stand point of view: He is in love with her but doesn't know ho to make her understand that, from the time of the first conversation he knew she opened a door to her heart but now is getting mix signals... she never have time for him. He wants to go out and do things, but she can't get out of her house and he sees her doing all the things he wants to do with her... with him, They make plans but she never shows up, they talk over texting but other than that the conversation keeps fading away and his anxiety is growing. Is she with me or not? is a constant question and the thought of her sleeping with him  every day makes his heart bleed enraged.

The solution!

The solution to this conundrum seems to rest on the shoulders of the person that is in a relationship. She needs to make up her mind and then send clear signals. They need to have clear conversations about where are they going and what are their expectation in a clear way and talk the truth without hesitation,,, if she feels that her love for this person is getting corresponded then she has to plan an exit of her current relationship... otherwise better stop and go back to her husband or boyfriend before she damages her heart so bad that it would  affect her capacity to love again in the future,

 

Maybe she needs to now that she is the first person to be in a situation like this one. THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A PERSON THAT THEY DON'T LOVE and very few of them eventually find the right person like she has... most of them stay in that relationship and live miserable lives for years and when finally gets out of that relationship the person she felt in love with is gone. Some other ones find a great person to love but they don't have the courage to get out of their current one and they too live a miserable life or years,,, a few ones find true love and brake up their current relationship to  live a new adventure and be happy for long time...

If you are in one of this situations... ITS UP TO YOU TO STEER YOUR FUTURE, If you found the right person don't waste your chances and take your chances for happiness!... before is to late and he's gone!... maybe you need to understand that life is like a game of basketball... if you drop the ball, another player is right there to pick it up and score!

I Love You!... Does it mean anything?

I'll start by saying NO! now let me elaborate.

 

Much had been said about the different kinds of love : Storge, Fileo, Eros and the ultimate AGAPE. So when someone tells you "Ï Love You" most likely it would be talking about one of them. The question is, which one would the person be meaning? Most likely none.

 

 

The word love has become of such simple use that any meaning it used to have lays now on its definition. so the meaning of love belongs to a dictionary and not to real life anymore. I woman tells me "I Love You"and to me doesn't have more meaning that when the bartender asks me if I want another drink and I say "I would love it" You see where I'm going? we say I love you when dropping the kids at the school bus, and we say I love your shoes or I love your hair.And we never question if that mean anything because we know it doesn't,

 

when a man and a woman start getting acquainted or flirting or going out, there is always the stigma of when to say "I love you" for the first time because it is tabu. You don't want the other person to think that you have fallen in love and  in doing so you miss the opportunity to establish a connection. If someone tells you I love you, it doesn't mean he or she is in love, it just means the it wants to see you again. it means that wants you to know that you both are flirting and that it's been a lot of fun. it means that this time he or she one something more that to fuck each other but that maybe you can go to a movie too or walk by the zoo. it means that maybe you can stop seen each other at the bar and start doing fun things together... it means all that. Doesn't mean the he or she cannot live without you or the she or he wants to marry you.

 

As you can see, the words "I Love You"mean very little. So if a woman tells me I love you to me is not different than if she says "Hi"or "Goodnight", I don't take it personal and i recognize that she is just opening the door for me so we can have fun together.

 

To me, the secret of knowing is somebody is telling me "I Love You"is LISTENING WHEN SHE IS NOT TALKING, This is an art that take time and experience to develop. It takes to read all the signs, the body language to fell the sentiment of the situation, So let's say a girl sends me a link of her favorite son. The fact of sending the song or the lirics of the song don't mean anything, maybe I really didn't liked the song, but the fact that she thought of sharing something personal with me, the time she spent looking for that song tells me that she is felling love for me.

I wrote a poem for a girl and she text me "OMG! You almost make me fall in love with you" the part that hold any meaning was "omg!" the rest was meaningless.Love can't be said it can only be expressed and the other person has to be able to feel it without any words in beetwen. So if you want the other person to know that you lover her or him, do things that express you love, don't sayit. In the same token, if you want if the other person loves you, don ask because you my get an answer that you might not like, inted read all the signs, all the things that she or he won't say but is expressing to you trough the thing she does.

 

 When I say that to find out if the other person is feeling love "listening when she or he is not talking" I think of the things the fox told the little prince... but specially this one:

 

"Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.

 

Remember this words and you will learn how to hear love and to say it without any words... now go and say "I Love You"as many times as you please  without any wories.

First date... Don't put your foot in your mouth!

One of the most difficult tings about a first is establishing a conversation that sparks the interest for both parties. Most of the time when you go in a first date your instinct tells you to talk about something that "you think is going to make you look interesting", but most of the time it won't... chances are it'll make you look. cocky  annoying, boring or stupid. Occasionally the other person can fake interest but don't get fooled by her attention to whatever you are talking about, she will be locking at you but thinking how to get the hell out.

 

I'll say that the best way to go is talking about something that it may be interesting for both of you. For instance you can make a comment about the place or venue where you decided to meet,  the food,  or music. A comment like that can spark an answer and from there you just have to pull the conversation. Eventuality you will say something about your personal life because that is something that is inevitable. Si it is alright to to say something about you're own persona because after all you are there to get to know each other. So, if you say "there is a person at work that... etc" chances are she or he is going to ask "what do you do? ". It is correct to say what the company you work for does or what kind of professional work you do,  but try not to get to deep into that, avoid making your conversation a job interview. You can say " I am a lawyer or I work for GM or I am in construction and that's it. Don't elaborate, keep it short and simple, give her or him a taste of  that part of your but live the rest for a better occasion. Eventually, over time and contact with each other you are going to know those details.

There is a big reward in getting out of your comfort zone. It is advisable that both get out of the comfort zone! If you do that you'll be able to show the real you,  without pretensions and perceive the other person the same way. It is natural to humans to pretend something they are not or try to make look themselves bigger than they really are. So,  a neutral place will give honesty to your date,  and honesty is a good place to start.

We all have skeletons in the closet, so, live them there. don't bring to conversation anything you don feel comfortable elaborating about. Keeping things for yourself doesn't make you a liar, eventually everything will come out but at the appropriate time. Now, kissing or having sex on first date is a matter of perception, but in suggesting it eighty percent of the time you will end up with your foot inside of your mouth, and ninety percent of the time there is not cumming out of that situation, Chances are it won be a second date.

 

             So, I followed all those rules when I went out on a date couple weeks ago.  I met a person I really like and found interesting and attractive. We went out for dinner and basically it was an introductory conversation since neither one of us knew anything of the other. Like in most first dates you can cover only so much of the field but that's is fine since it leaves you hungry for more.

After coming back home I sent her a brief text to establish the ground for a second date. Next day she called me... great conversation. Next day she didn't call me but we exchange couple text messages... all good. Next day a decided to call her. She didn't answer but sent me a text saying that it was in a class at school and she call me right after her class on her way home.

 

It was then that it clicked in my head that she works, goes to school and has a family while me on the other hand work a full time work but other than that I am a free man. Don't take me wrong, I do a lot of things like computer programming, oil painting and writing and blogging, but I decide how organize my time. She on the other hand has to stick to a schedule that it is decided by others.

So, when she call back, after a long conversation before saying goodnight I say "Listen! I understand you are very busy and I don't want to call you when you have things to do... would it be better if you call me when you have time?" She said "yes"... I knew, the moment I put the phone down that I have put my foot in my mouth. I realized that what I wanted to say came out completely wrong and there was a need o a major fixing.

Next day she didn't call and when I sent her a text her reply was something like "ok". The they after I text her asking her if she could call me and her answer was "No, is ok" then I knew it was over. That somehow I managed to kill my chance  if any. Needless to say that she didn't call back.

 

   Should she had call me back I would have said:

    last night when we talked I said something that came out the wrong way. I didn't meant to say 'if you don't have time for dating it'll be another time'. What I meant to say was that I understand you don't have much time to spare and I can work around those corners as long as you really give the time you have available' I would have say "I am really interested in getting to know you but I don't want to be a nuisance by getting into you life like that' That all I wanted to do was sound supportive of whatever she was doing and that I was very glad we met... But I didn't have the chance since she never call.

 

So, be very careful. weigh every word you say, every gesture... because once you put your foot in your mouth there is not pulling it out.

 

l'll finish with a poem:

   It's been said

   that loves has ups and downs.

   Yesterday. I saw you with another one

         going up... I got it now!

Why I can't find anyone?

To Ryan

"One only understands the things that one tames," said the fox. "Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship . . ."

 

... "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

 

                                 The Little Prince

                                               Antoine de Saint Exupéry

 

 

 

 

 

 

One of the big problems about love is that you never seem to find it. There is a scene in the movie "Fatal Attraction" were Alex Forrest (Glen Close) Tells Dan Gallagher (Michael Douglas) "Why is that every interesting man is already married". That seems to be the problem that every single person faces when searching for love... they find the ideal person just to find out that she or he has a boyfriend or girlfriend, and they wonder 'why is she or he with that looser'. In reality it doesn't have to be a loser, but most of the time that's how the other person perceives it.

 

I think of my friend Ryan. He needs to understand that "All is fair in war and love", that being a good friend very rarely brings a relationship other than friendship. That in order to catch a fish you have to throw the lure first... girls they don't like good guys, but interesting ones... the only use they have for good guys is as friends. 


So, the first step is to make your persona more interesting.  Some people play sports but if sports is not your thing then you have to become a connoisseur of something. The second place in the popularity list is music, so playing an instrument is going to gain you some cookie points. No! Not the french horn or the timbales, maybe the guitar or the piano or even the sax. Next in the list would be to play the "Intellectual", a  the guy that reads and writes... any of those is ok, what is not ok is to look weak, to look like the guy that all the girls want to be friends with. Do not be their confident, they are going to use your shoulder to cry over other guys and since they are going to be very busy crying on your shoulder they'll never have the chance to look at you.

 

 

  The most common problem one faces when trying to approach someone we like is our inability to talk. We expect the other person to notice our interest and respond to our shy advances... but here is where we have a problem. We cannot expect the other person to respond to our advances because she (or he) are in the understanding that we are just friends, She has a boyfriend and maybe she even loves him. and she doesn't know what you want, or what are your intentions.

 

So, the road to succeed is very simple: make sure she knows what your intentions are., meaning that you like her and want to date her. Make sure you are the kind of person she would put her eyes on... If she likes the football players but all you play is the piano... is not going to happen. don't be her confident because first she is going to ask you if she should dump her boyfriend, and then if she should date your best friend, ignoring completely the fact that you are interested in her.

 

Many woman crave attention and will push you to say something you are not ready to say... Don't say "I Love You" until the relationship is mature, before that it's just going to ruin everything you have built... even if it is truth that you love her.

 

Finally, be ready to loose the fight. If she really only sees you as a friend, I am sure that the friendship is going to die when she realize that you want something more than to be friends... She won't look at you the same way anymore... Ever!. You are going to pretend to be friends for a while, but you should know that is over. If it comes to that, move on and find somebody else... she would be gone anyway..

 

The good news: I think you are the kind of guy she really wants and she struggles... you just have to show her the way and let things happen... just remeber that there is only one chance, don't waste it!

Searching for... Marriage or Good time? Part 2

What is good for me

    And here we are again, talking about what it will be to find the perfect match. Most of the time, we all know by experience, we can't get what we want. Either because we all look at the most popular person in our surroundings (call it school, work, neighborhood, building, church, etc.) or we have developed an idea of what we want based on the life or appearance  of celebrities or the books they have red and the movies they have watched. All that makes their perfect match just to perfect... not to say unreachable. To get that person you have to fight against all the alphas, and probably you have to be one in order to win.

What do I have to offer:

    So now, the question is what do I have to offer? What is my net worth. To use an analogy let's think of somebody that decides that it needs some new shoes. That is the first step, to realize that there is a need, named shoes.  Now that person has to stop and think, just any shoes? do I need shoes to go to work or to hike or to run? Do I need shoes to be in style? Do they have to be durable, do they need to be  a brand name?. Now that I decided what kind of shoes I want to by I have to think what can I afford? are the shoes I want in my price range. Because everything boils down to what we have to offer. If I go to the cashier and extend a 10 dollar bill for a 100 dollar pair of shoes, the cashier is going to give me the looks like "Hey! I need 90 dollars more! If I say "that is all I have!" he will snatch the shoes from my hands and send me home to get more money. Just because I don't have enough money exchange for that pair of shoes! Whether those shoes sit your feet, or go with your style is matter of another paragraph. right now we only want to know if you have enough to buy what you want.

   I have heard couple times something like "I will only marry for the money" or "I need a sugar daddy" One of  the people at work said that once and while looking at her I thought 'good luck" because there are several smoking hot young chicks out there willing to fight for that money, and she wasn't in any position to even think of it. so if you are a smoking hot guy or girl  trying to buy those shoes... It is ok, probably your goods are good enough to make the transaction...And hopefully you'll stay there for the rest of your life.

   Most of the time you won;t stay there for the rest of your life, you'll get dump. used and sometimes abused, and when that happen and you are ready to settle down and form a family of just have somebody that cares for you (remember that we are talking about you been a smoking hot person) the you know that it is time to turn around and lay your eyes on a beta... yes, the one you didn't give a damn before, the guy that was to busy building his future that never have time to go to those wild parties. Or that other person... you know who am I talking about! I doesn't have to be rich, it could, but what is important about that person is that it will provide you with a stable life, a life with love and consideration... then again, do you have what it takes to get that person?.

   Beta Looking for Alpha

   So you are the one looking to hook up with an Alpha! Well, if you are a woman things can go south very easily just because for males it is not about love but about reproducing and if you are a beta you are going to have a hell of a time keeping your man on the leash. On the other hand, if you are a beta male and you want an alpha female things are a little bit more in your favor. Woman are looking for love too, so if you are a good provider, offer a stable life or have money or are very successful doing something ( an artist, community activist, church pastor etc) and on top of that you love her, then chances are she will be with you forever, probably she will control your life but it doesn't matter because as an beta male that is exactly what you want.

   Going back to our analogy, if you want to buy a pretty item and you have the money... congratulations!, but if you want an item and you want more than you can afford... then all I can say is what Paul the apostle said and I Quote " We must go through much tribulation to enter the kingdom of heaven of God" Acts 14:22

 

   Next post will be Why I can't find anyone?

Searching for... Marriage or Good time?

The dilemma of choosing an Alpha or a Beta

So, who is who?

A note on the side: Everything I say here I will say it talking like a male (After all I am one), but all the things mentioned here apply the same to male and females.

   It has been discussed so many times what is the definition off an alpha male (or female for that matter) and everybody has something to say about them. They go from they are hot to "They are as holes and everything in between... It is right; they are everything they say about them and more. So to understand them we have to go back to the simplest definition, the one that puts everybody in the animal kingdom.

Way back in the day before the word machismo was invented
  Alpha males and alpha females both were in charge of reproducing and passing the best genes possible for the survival the gang, they were the glue that brought the gang together and took the lead when it was time to bring the food... They were happy with each other and understood their role in the gang. Now the gang has changed. We call it society and the only thing that remains is our sexual attraction to them... the alphas. Nobody escapes to their charms, we all feel attracted to an alpha , we alphas and betas all together.

Back to reality
  So, how do we know who is who? are all the buff guys alpha? Is the captain of the High school football team an alpha male? Are all the popular girls alpha too?
1.      Most alpha comes across as a strong personality.
2.      Tend to have flair of dominance and self confidence
3.      They belong to themselves
4.      They set the rules
Weather they are rich or not, smart or not, buff or not it is irrelevant because to be alpha male means to have a set of personality treats that make you exactly that. It doesn’t have to be super good looking and many times has nothing to do with smartness. It is true that there are some alpha males or females with a very high IQ. Many of them have plowed their way to riches using all the things pertaining to their alpha persona, but most of the time they are so immerse in the things that make an alpha that they have no time to train their brains (and that it will be discussed in another segment). 

So, if the captain of the high school football team is now driving the school bus, that doesn’t make him less attractive to his target audience, and cheerleader now waitressing at the local dinner or  stripping at the strip club,  still carries the same allure to their target audience because all their personality treats are still in them,  their target audience has change its truth, the roles of who they attract now have changed but they are still the same… call it charming or brusque as it applies to you.
           We all have surrender to their charms. We all have wished one of them would look at us, we all thing that she or he will be the perfect parent of our babies we all have been heartbroken by their rejection or by been ignored… Don’t worry, in the next post we are going to learn that in a perfect world and alpha and a beta make a perfect match!  

 

Immigration Reform chapter One

This is the first post about immigration reform that I’ll be posting in this blog. Feel free to add your comments and links.

Yesterday I was twitting about why nobody was talking about the immigration reform and today, fortunately someone ask that question to President Obama and he seemed to have some answers.

In the past legislation was passed to resolve this issue. In the early 2000’s a law was pass to grant permanent residence to those who have a family here in the Unites States (meaning husband, wife or parents) or whose employer was willing to sponsor them. At that time I saw many people getting married to a USA citizen just to obtain the residence and I saw many employers sponsoring employees that have no roots in this country, people who comes in the summer and lives in the winter. I saw many other that have been here for long time, people that own small business, houses, have kids that are citizens, speaks English, many times has higher education, but they could not claim residence under those circumstances because their employer wouldn’t sponsor them or they were afraid to open up and talk to their employers for fear of been denied and losing their job at the same time… That’s how now we have millions of illegal immigrants living in the shadow.

Most people tend to believe that all the illegal immigrants are from Mexico, it is true that they are the biggest group but there are illegal immigrants from all over the world… Many of the times, because they are educated or because the country where they come from, people don’t believe they are illegally here.